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White Living In Oklahoma - May 30, 2004 - Printable Version
- A Study in Futility
by Vera E. White, Social Events Editor
This is the final installment in our series "White Living in Oklahoma". We created this column in the hope that the Oklahoman (Oklahoma City's only, and by default, it's finest, daily newspaper) would get the not-so-subtle hint and diversify their lily-white publication to include minorities who are not just scoring touchdowns and slamdunking basketballs over the heads of flat-footed white guys. Alas, this has not come to pass. The society pages of the Oklahoman are still more segregated than a KKK knot-tying party. The "Living" section of their newspaper remains whiter than a proverbial polar bear in a snowstorm. And worst of all, I'm running out of white jokes. Okay, here's one more: What do you call 300 white men chasing one black man? The PGA Tour. As I said, I'm running out of white jokes. So, we at The Faulking Truth are abandoning our quixotic attempt at leveling the playing field for all races, and will instead focus our efforts on more attainable causes, like world peace, or convincing George Bush to become a Democrat. Wish us luck.
And now, without further ado, here is our white-hot star spangled grand finale' to "White Living in Oklahoma":
By Vera E. White, Social Events Editor
May 30, 2004
I've spent the last few months keeping a count on the number of minorities pictured on the pages of the Oklahoman. As it turns out, it was a study in futility. I might just as well have spent my time looking for PHDs at a cockfight. Normally, I would provide commentary on a weekly basis, but frankly, this is getting to be a bit repetitious. I feel like I'm just repeating myself in a feeble attempt to fill space. It's almost like I'm starting to ramble, and using the same phrases time and again. It's as if there's nothing left to say on the subject. To quote Randy Newman, "I've nothing left to say, but I'm gonna say it anyway". It seems like I'm saying the same thing over and over. Did I already say that? If I did, I'm sorry, but it's true, I do feel like I'm saying the same thing over and over and over and over.
And over.
So, here it is: a redundant summary of the Oklahoman's White Living section for the past two months: out of over 500 people pictured in the parties section of Oklahoma's finest (and only) daily newspaper, there are four non-white partygoers.
That's right. Four. Cuatro. Vier. Empat. Yottsu. Nne. Fire. Quattro. Hayarokweetu. Okay, that covers English, Spanish, African, Indonesian, Japanese, Swahili, Norwegian, Italian, and Comanche. Feel free to add your favorite language. There are, after all, an infinite variety of people and languages in the world, you just wouldn't know it by reading the Oklahoman's White Living section. Go figure.
Perhaps someday, Oklahoman social editors Peggy Gandy, and Helen Ford Wallace will make a wrong turn on their way to a Beaux Arts Costume Ball at Gaylordia (sorry, make that "Gallardia") or Quail Creek Golf and Country Club, and end up in Deep Deuce at the Charlie Christian International Jazz Festival. Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?
And now, for posterity's sake, here is the name of the last non-white person pictured in the Oklahoman's Living section for the first half of 2004, or should I say "in the year of our (White) Lord 2004": this week's winner is Bruce Fisher, who is pictured with Dan Provo (white) and Betty Price (even whiter). Why is this significant? It is significant because this picture was taken at a reception for a photographic exhibit by Ron Tarver entitled "Deep Duece and Beyond", which was sponsored by the Blac Liberated Arts Center, Inc. and opened in conjunction with the 19th Annual Charlie Christian International Jazz Festival. In other words, it's a collection of photographs of a historic Oklahoma City black business district, taken by a black photographer, sponsored by a black arts organization, which opened on the same day as a jazz festival honoring a famous black jazz guitarist.
AND THEY STILL ONLY GOT ONE BLACK GUY IN THE PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And that, my fellow Americans, pretty much says it all.
Total for April and May:
White People: 669 total
Non-White People: 5 total
Year to date:
White People: 1406
Non-White People: 8 total
Editor's note: Although this is the final "White Living in Oklahoma" article, you can laugh at the wacky white antics of Peggy Gandy and Helen Ford Wallace year-round in the "Living" section of the Oklahoman every Sunday, and keep your own minority count. It's fun, easy, and sadly enlightening. Also, you can read the entire "White Living in Oklahoma" series in our archives at: http://www.faulkingtruth.com/Archives.cgi
Oh, yeah, one more thing: We were just kidding when we said we would no longer carry on the battle for racial equality at The Faulking Truth. We will continue to ridicule Whitey at every opportunity. And in case you're offended by my referring to caucasions as "Whitey", I am Whitey, so it's okay. Don't get your white panties in a wad. And that, once again, is the Faulking Truth.
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