HOME
Message Board
CURRENT COLUMNS
- Editor's Corner
- Blogfest 2005
- Commentary
- Commentary Too
- Down The Middle
- Faulking Around
- Global Warning
- This guy walks into a bar...
- Investing 101
- Faulking Opinions
- Off The Rail
- Words
ARCHIVES
LINKS
CONTACT US
 | |||
Faulking Opinions - Jun 20, 2009 - Printable Version
- I should have known the odds....
by Anonymous
I've always been fascinated by true crime stories, obituaries, and the tragic deaths of children. I am not sure why, but if I see a headline about a bizarre crime (homicides receive my quickest attention), celebrity deaths, or a child who has died at a young age, I will stop what I am doing to click over to read the story. It's just something I have always done. I don't know whether it is because I recently gave birth to my own child, or perhaps because the world is truly just becoming so much more tragic to me than it once was, but I have noticed a lot of children's deaths recently. Just this week, I read of two siblings, ages 3 and 4, who climbed into the trunk of a car in northwest Arkansas and died. There was also a toddler who fell into a mop bucket at a daycare center in New York and died. A father in California, I believe, left his four month old son in the car. The infant died. I can't even imagine the pain experienced by the parents of all of those children this week.
Add to all this the case I recently read about the 10 month old girl who was raped (yes, raped), and I find myself just . . . well, I find myself at a loss for words.
What really topped it all off, though, was yesterday. The entire day, I think, just shattered something inside me. I woke up, had my shower, and dressed, like normal, and then retreated to our office to check my emails and the laundry list of websites without which I can not start my day. Somehow, a small link in the lower right corner of my screen caught my attention just as I had clicked the "home" button of my browser. The link referred to the bodies of a woman and child that had been found in their home. Forced to hit the "back" button, I clicked on the link as soon as the screen was restored. It's an obsession for me, I think, an action I have taken numerous times in the past.
I should have known that the odds were in favor of me eventually finding myself confronted with a story about someone I know. In this instance, the mother was a woman whom I had known since junior high. She and I had been in band together (she was a majorette, in fact), and I always found her to be quite lovely. She and I had fallen out of touch after high school (as so many people do), and we had only reconnected recently through Facebook.
I say reconnected . . .
She had 423 friends on Facebook. We shared 99 common friends, a lifetime of acquaintances from years of education and life in the same city. On Wednesday morning, at 10:01 a.m., Shingo posted an update to her Facebook in which she wrote, "I love everyone on my facebook! :)" Several people responded, reciprocating her affection, although I was not one of them. I didn't see the update.
Even if I had, though, I wouldn't have thought anything of it.
Such an innocent statement.
After all, I love everyone on my Facebook, too.
And yet, shortly thereafter, Shingo allegedly shot her beautiful daughter, six-year-old Abby, the light of her universe from what I can tell, before turning the gun on herself and committing suicide.
I know that wishing won't undo what has already been done. She and her daughter are both dead, and nothing will ever change that. But, I still wish . . . .
I wish that she had reached out her hand for help.
I wish that she and her beautiful daughter still lived.
I wish that she had left a more "sinister" status message that might have clued someone into the fact that things were not right.
The thing is, I have historically had little sympathy for parents who kill their children. In fact, my general impression has always been that there is a special corner of hell for such people, but this is someone I knew. Now that I have found myself in the situation where I "know" the victims, all I can feel is such deep sadness and regret for what might have been for both Shingo and her daughter.
It was a horrible week for children, and I mourn the death of that beautiful child who may have died at the hand of her own mother. But what I also keep coming back to is that, even though Shingo was no longer a "child" in the same sense as her daughter was, she was someone's child. Her parents grieve and mourn the loss of her life, and as a mother who already can't imagine life without my own child, I hurt for them, and for her. For whatever pain she was in, and for the hopelessness that she must have felt that led her to take the life of her child and herself, I pray that she has found a peace that those who knew her well and loved her might not have for quite some time, if ever.
I should have known the odds were that I would eventually know the victim in one of those links.
Editor's note: Another piece from Anonymous, our resident MySpace blogger. I hope anyone who reads this one and finds themselves in a similar situation reaches out for help. Call a friend or family member, or call one of the numerous suicide hotlines across the country and around the world.
http://suicidehotlines.com/
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
Voice your opinion on our message board (you don't have to sign up to post).