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Commentary Too - Oct 7, 2005 - Printable Version
- Republicans Screw America....Again!
by Mark Faulk
It's two o'clock in the morning, and I've been looking for a way to celebrate today's court ruling that upheld the anonymity of four bloggers who ridiculed a Smyrna, Delaware councilman online, making sexual references about the councilman and his wife, and suggesting that he is homosexual. So, since it's pretty much open season on politicians, and after a couple of margaritas, this is what I've come up with: Every Republican in Congress is a freedom-hating elitist heartless bastard, and is most likely either A) impotent, B) a closet homosexual, or C) into beastiality. And President Bush? Judging from recent blog articles, it's obvious that he's strung out on cocaine, most probably provided by his pimp/drug dealer Karl Rove.
For the record, some of the above facts are my personal alcohol-fueled opinions (Did you get that one? "the above facts are my opinions"), but this much is undisputable: Republicans don't give a rat's ass about family values, poverty, children, crime, nutrition, unemployment, or the elderly. And I'll take that one to court, so any Congressman out there who wants to sue me for telling the Faulking Truth, have at it.
Truthfully, I could fill a book with the evidence to back up my statements, but let's face, I'm just too damn lazy, so instead, I'll use one example that says it all. Ever heard of the Community Services Block grant program? It's a program that Republicans were touting just last year as a way to, well, hell, let's let the House Education Workforce describe it for you, as they were hyping H.R. 3030, a bill authored last year by Republican Congressman Tom Osborne (NE), in their press release "Helping Communities Fight Poverty":
Communities across America are fighting the crippling effects of poverty with funds provided through the Community Services Block Grant (CSBG). The funding is administered through the states to community action agencies, which then run a variety of programs to lessen the effects of poverty. These programs aim to eliminate obstacles to the self-sufficiency of families and individuals through services such as job training, youth mentoring, and youth crime prevention. On a larger scale, CSBG authorizes activities such as community economic development, rural community facilities improvement, community food and nutrition assistance, and national youth sports programs.
Could there be a better program in America? Throw in the fact that it also helps fund the Head Start Program, transportation for the elderly, Meals on Wheels, adult literacy, homeless shelters, and a number of programs that directly affect victims of Hurricane Katrina, and it seems to touch every American in one way or another.
God, I love this country! H.B. 3030, passed just last year, listed as it's top two objectives:
Maintains Current Overall Funding Levels: Continues to authorize CSBG funding levels for all grants at “such sums” through 2009, as in current law.
Continues Funding for Discretionary Programs: Keeps funding at the same level for all discretionary programs, including the National Youth Sports Program, and extends the authorization through 2009.
Whew, full funding until 2009.....so we can all rest comfortably while our Republican Congress is taking care of our tired, our poor, our huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the homeless, tempest-tossed....hmmm, that sounds familiar, where have I heard that one before? Oh yeah, it's etched into the freaking Statue of Liberty!
Well, guess what suckers.....I mean, fellow Americans.....you've been screwed yet again. Last Friday, Republicans cut funding for the Community Services Block Program in half!!!!! That's right. Elderly citizens? Kiss my neocon ass. Children? Go get a job, you little juvenile delinquents. Homeless? Good luck getting into my gated neighborhood, you filthy lowlifes. Youth sports? Here's a used frisbee, have at it. Hurricane Katrina victims? Wade home, if you have a home left to wade to. Huddles masses yearning to breathe free? Huddle on this, losers. Nutrition and food programs? Let them eat cake.
So.....do you STILL believe that Republicans care about you? Do you still think that all politicians are the same? Then how about this: EVERY SINGLE REPUBLICAN VOTED AGAINST FUNDING THIS PROGRAM, and EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT VOTED FOR IT! That's right, the same Republicans who were shouting from their gold plated rooftops last year that they would fully fund CSBG until at least 2009, just cut the funding for 2006 from $637 million to $320 million. The good news? Tax cuts for the rich will remain intact.
Let's summarize, so it will be easy to remember when you go to the polls in 2006: Republicans hate children, the elderly, all communities, sports, education, jobs, and the poor, and they couldn't care less about the victims of Hurricane Katrina. They do however, love the oil companies, the pharmaceutical companies, and the ultra rich. And that, my fellow tempest-tossed Americans, is the Faulking Truth.
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