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Editor's Corner - Jan 12, 2005 - Printable Version
- We're Having a Party!
by Mark Faulk
Hello again, all you Faulkers. Hope you've already made your travel plans so you can be at our President's side during his Inaugural Address. If you're really generous with your "donations", maybe you can get an early tour of the new Presidential Yacht that taxpayers are so generously paying for. Hey, who said we're running out of money? We'll just print more! Actually, I'm already planning my own Inauguration Day Party, and money's no object! With the help of a few generous corporate donors, The Faulking Truth is spending a whopping $50 on next week's celebration. I know what you're thinking, what about the Tsunami victims? Let them buy their own Corona and chips. (Editor's note: That was satire, for those of you who were wondering.)
Okay, on to the Faulking Truth Update. For starters, we are supporting a new and improved Inauguration Day Boycott. This one has real merit, read it and help us spread the word. I'll give an excerpt from that piece, and then move on to our other articles (Read them fast, or you'll have to track them down in our archives):
"Supporting the Inauguration Day Boycott.....Sort of"
By Mark Faulk
The Faulking Truth is, I support the Inauguration Day Boycott.....sort of. I mean, with a little tweaking, this thing might actually accomplish something. Here's my idea: Forget the pointless "Ban on Spending" crap, instead, we should boycott Corporate America. That's right, instead of shopping at the WalMart Super Center, go to the nearest Mom and Pop grocery store or the roadside vegetable stand. Instead of buying that hammer at Home Depot or Lowe's, find one of those little family-owned hardware stores that barely scrape by, and buy it there.
"Can This Marriage be Saved?"
By Robin Buckallew
I still remember that day, so long ago, when as a starry eyed 18-year-old I walked down the aisle of the County Election Board and pledged my troth to you, the Democratic Party. The relationship has lasted many years, not always satisfying to be sure, but always with an eye to a brighter future. Now, I fear you have become enamored of the wealthy dominatrix down the street, and your philandering ways threaten the very fabric of our relationship.
"Feeding the Stock Market Beast"
By Mark Faulk
In February, the Bush Administration will unveil their Social Security plan that will pump hundreds of billions of additional dollars into the stock market. The fees paid to brokers and money managers could run into the billions. That's right, the same brokers, dealers, and regulators who at the very least have sat idly by while you have been robbed blind, and many of whom have backed the truck up to your front door while the crooks loaded up your valuables, now want to invest your retirement money for you.
"Live Fast, Die Young" and "Social Insecurity"
By Down The Middle
Mr. Bush has taken it on himself to “fix” our Social Security program. There’s just one thing that strikes me a little strange about that...IT AIN’T BROKEN!!! I know, I know...for years, we’ve heard the stories about the system going broke. The simple truth of the matter is, the only problem with our Social Security, is Congress having a key to the lock box.
"Look Who's Talking"
By Robin Buckallew
"Officer, I would like to report a theft..yes, the English language has been stolen, and is being used for nefarious purposes.who stole it? Why, the right wing...what do you mean, I can't report that as a theft?....well, who gave it to them, anyway? Doesn't it belong to everybody?.... well, I don't remember giving it away..I see. If I don't protest for a certain period of time, it automatically becomes their property.
"Regulation SHO’s Threshold Lists Leave More Questions than Answers"
By Dave Patch
The "threshold security" list of 1000 in December of 2004 has suddenly shrunk by nearly 500 firms now that the list is made public. Remarkably, the 500 firms that have suddenly disappeared are all securities listed in the “highly illiquid” OTCBB and Pink Sheets trading centers.
"Oooooh, Look at the Pretty Girl!"
By Mark Faulk
Our country is being run by magicians. Say what you will about the Bush Administration, when it comes to the fine art of sleight of hand, they are in a league of their own. Forget David Copperfield, the true Master of Misdirection is Karl Rove. With the help of their gorgeous assistants, the "Mainstream Media", they are engaging in the time-honored practice of deception.
"You Are What You Eat...."
Robin Buckallew, Lillian Annabella Constantine lll, Kelsey Faulk, Zola Zook, and Mark Faulk
They're drilling big holes in Alaska
They're killing off all of the seals
And I'm driving around in an SUV
Wondering how all those animals feel
And, once again, we're so darn prolific that several of our articles have passed into history (which means our archives), plus there are several in Blogfest 2005, you know where to find those. Go there and read anything you haven't read yet, you might be able to kill an entire work week without actually doing any work. Just don't tell your boss, he might not understand the Faulking Truth. See you January 20th at the White House (hint: it's the big white building with all the guys with high-powered rifles on the roof).
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