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Editor's Corner - Sep 29, 2004 - Printable Version
- Counting Our Blessings (and our "Freedoms" and Liberties" too)
by Mark Faulk
It's debate time, I hope everyone has their beer and pretzels (or champagne and caviar, if that's more your style) ready, and maybe a pot of coffee to keep you awake through what promises to be a real snoozefest. All I can say is, if Kerry doesn't jump out from behind the podium and kick Bush's redneck ass, I'll consider it a total washout. Here are a couple of ideas to make it a bit more interesting: tape it (or Tivo it, or DVD it, or whatthefaulkever it), and then, during the slow parts, you can rewind it and start and stop it really fast, and make Bush and Kerry do funny little dances, and hit repeat a bunch of times in a row so they sound like they're rappers. Or, if that doesn't work, have a contest to see who can guess how many times Bush uses the words "freedom" and "liberty". Here's my guess: 18 freedoms and 9 liberties. In fact, if everyone wants to email me their guesses, we'll post the winner's name online after the debate....and, the winner will get a free one year subscription to The Faulking Truth. Whoohoo! We got ourselves a contest. Sorry, I'm getting worked up again. Repeat mantra: "anyonebutbush, anyonebutbush, anyonebutbush, anyonebutbush". Okay, I'm better now. That really does work.
While we're at it, I might as well give everyone a quick update on the website (instead of just rambling incoherently). Down The Middle has a great article about the real issue of the election, which can be summed up as "what the hell is everyone thinking?" That one is called "John Wayne Died at the Alamo", read it and be informed. (By the way, just to clarify, John Wayne didn't really die at the Alamo.)
Kelsey Faulk contributes "Onstage", a personal piece that portrays the bond between audience and actor. Remember that name, you'll hear a lot more of it over the next few years. (Yeah, she's my daughter, who asked you?)
As for me: I've been a bit out of control lately, so here it is in a "nut" shell (so to speak):
I've trying to turn my A.D.D. into an asset instead of a liability by writing a weblog. It's called "BlogFest 2005", a name that I thought was pretty faulking funny, but my daughter says is retarded (I know, that's socially incorrect, but since she's just like me, what did you expect?). I've been writing something in it almost every day, so stop by anytime. I'll save you a cyberseat.
"'The Secret Vonnegut Society' or 'Subversion as an Art Form'" is my ode to corrupting the youth of America, my own "youths" in particular. It's also a tirade against censorship, in case you totally don't get it. Plus, it's the American Library Association's "Banned Book Week". Read a banned book today!
"US Thwarts Major Terrorist Attack" tells the chilling tale of how the Department of Homeland Security stepped in and diverted another potential 9/11 situation - not really, I'm just being sarcastic (again). Sorry about that.
And finally (it's about faulking time, too, if you ask me), finally, I use the example of Oklahoma City's "newspaper", the Daily Oklahoman to point out how biased the media really is (and it's not the liberal media I'm talking about) in my article "'Media Bias' or 'All the News That's Fit to Print'". I hate that paper, really I do. I'm not kidding, it really sucks rocks. But...it does make nice guinea pig cage liner, very absorbant.
So there you have it, I hope everyone followed my advice and took some time off this past weekend, I had a blast watching Aranda play at the Plaza District Festival in OKC. It was pretty cool to see our inner city district coming back to life, the guys rocked the street, and the hot babes were out in force (who said that?). Seriously, Oklahoma City might just have the most gorgeous women in the entire known universe. In fact, I got into a bit of trouble for being "too friendly" (sorry, dear). Truthfully, I'm just a nice guy that likes to flirtatad. What are you gonna do?
Don't forget to send your entries for the "Bushspeak Liberty/Freedom Contest 2004". Step right up! Make fun of the president and win a faulking prize!
anyonebutbush, anyonebutbush, anyonebutbush, anyonebutbush, anyonebutbush, anyonebutbush, anyonebutbush, anyonebutbush, anyonebutbush..........
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