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Editor's Corner - Sep 18, 2004 - Printable Version
- Kerry: The UnBush
by Mark Faulk
Forty-five days and counting until we decide who we want to be our next president. To help you with your decision, I've simplified each candidate's platform into one easy to remember slogan. Let's start with President Bush. Because he took more vacation days than any president in history during his first term, he is rested and ready for action. He is a "forward looking president", and since the Republicans keep insisting that this election is about the future (it's a good thing, since the recent past sucks), we think this statement says it all: "Vote for me, and I'll fix everything I screwed up during the last four years".
And for Kerry: He is known for pontificating a bit too much, so we've come up with the one phrase that sums up all of his strongest qualifications in six simple words: "Vote for me, I'm not Bush".
So there you have it, Bush will clean up his own mess, and Kerry will be the UnBush.
On with the article parade: I promised you that The Faulking Truth would step up the pace during the last few weeks of the election, and we have. In fact, we've been cranking them out so fast that one article has already been relegated to our archives: "Republican Convention 2004: A Hopefuller America" dissects our President's acceptance speech, and attempts to separate reality from rhetoric. You can still find that one at http://www.faulkingtruth.com/Articles/Commentary/1011.html
This week, we have two (count 'em, two) articles penned by "Down The Middle", "Count Your Children" tells the sordid tale of the Project For a New America organization, and how they influenced the decision to go to war with Iraq, which would make a great sci-fi movie if it wasn't true. Sadly, it is. Also, "To The Left" weaves his own conspiracy theory with "The Shocking 'rest of the story' about George W. Bush's 'other woman' from Kitty Kelly's book 'The Family' ". Then "Down The Middle" follows it up with "Christian Soldiers", giving us the religious right's slant on the "God on our Side" syndrome.
I chime in with "'Beating The Bushes' or 'Do I Feel a Draft?'", a manic-depressive tirade triggered by too many nights lying awake worrying about the fate of our world. Anyone have a spare Xanax? Then, I quit bitching about the stock market scandal long enough to suggest some actual solutions to the problems in "A Twelve Step Program to Clean up the OTC Stock Market". Okay, I bitch about it and suggest some solutions at the same time. Hey, nobody's perfect.
Our guest commentator this week is Robert Wahl, who suggests that our current political woes can be traced back to the system itself in "How to Set Things Right". It is the first part in a three part series dealing with the subject, and suggesting some ways to fix it.
Robin Buckallew summons the ghost of Howard Beale in "Where is Howard Beale?", which once again forces us to look at our obsession with excess, in this case, our habit of driving too much. I was wracked with guilt from reading it, but after a leisurely drive in the country in my SUV, I felt better. She also looks longingly at the possibility of a world without George Dubya in "Lament in 2008". The first two lines say it all: "The world might be livable still, If Barbara Bush had taken the pill".
And finally, we report on the Sixth Annual Plaza District Festival in Oklahoma City in our article "Aranda to Perform Unplugged Concert at Plaza District Festival". It is significant because it highlights their efforts to revitalize a once-deteriorating area in the inner city. Plus, they are featuring an unplugged concert from Aranda, the best unsigned band in America. It happens on September 25th, don't miss it. I'll be there, and that automatically makes it the cool place to be.
On a sadder note: Russell Tharp still hasn't been heard from, and his ethereal love Lily hasn't graced the pages of our Guestbook for the past couple of weeks either. I hope that both of them are okay, and that we'll see them in our patch of blue cyberspace in the near future.
So, until next time, don't forget, "The Faulking Truth will set you free".
(Editor's note: I just read that Macauley Culkin was arrested yesterday in Oklahoma City for possession of Marijuana and Xanax. So, I'd like to make it perfectly clear that when I said "Anyone have a spare Xanax?", I was just kidding. What I should have said was "Can anyone write me a legal prescription for Xanax?")
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