Amazingly, even though they live in different states and aren't even on speaking terms, three of our writers have simultaneously penned articles in support of the John Kerry/John Edwards ticket. Has The Faulking Truth compromised it's (already questionable) integrity and sold out lock, stock, and barrel to the Democratic Party? Not a faulking chance! Well, not until we get that million dollar NEA grant that I haven't applied for yet, or at the very least an ambassadorship to Seychelles (where, by the way, we have a loyal fan base of two readers. Thanks, whoever you are, and wherever that is). Is it because great minds think alike? No seriously, that’s not just a rhetorical question, I’m asking “do great minds think alike?”. If there are any great minds out there who can answer that, email me at info@faulkingtruth.com , because (possessing only a mediocre mind at best) I am totally clueless on that one. Hey, I'm so devoid of originality that I even stole the title of this column from one of our writers.
Whatever the reason, it's true. Ken Shade has been temporarily resusitated from his cryogenic state long enough to write another gem, this one entitled "Some of My Friends are Confused", which tackles the issue of voter apathy in the hopes of pissing off everyone just enough to get them off their couches and into the voter's booths.
One of our mystery writers, "Down The Middle" (will those guys ever come out of the closet?) admits that he is beginning to veer just a bit to the left in his article "It's John John", in which he compares John Kerry and John Edwards to Abe Lincoln and Bobby Kennedy (okay, he actually says "John Kerry, with his Lincoln stature and John Edwards, with his Bobby Kennedy haircut"). Still, they fair better than the opposition.
And to complete our "Bush and Cheney suck, so vote for the other guys" triumvirate, Robin Buckallew discusses Al Gore's (and our) failures in the last election, and how we can keep history from repeating itself with a minimal of effort (that's right I said "effort") in her article "Al Gore in My Mirror".
I add the next chapter in the StockGate saga with "Searching For Michael Moore", in which we learn, in no particular order, that Dateline has no credibility, the SEC has no cajones, and Michael Moore wears an XXXL size Superman suit. By the way, we're harassing Michael Moore this week (but in a nice way), so read the article and email him your regards.
We try our hand at demented internet matchmaking in our "Letters To The Editor" section, entitled "The Faulking Truth Dating Service", and Russell Tharp attempts to fan the lukewarm embers of "romance" by writing a poem dedicated to a poster in our guestbook, entitled "For Lily", in our "Words" column.
One more note: we are looking for guest contributors to our "Commentary Too" column. If you're a budding writer and want to see if you can "run with the big dogs" (I got that phrase from Toby Keith, the original big dog) at The Faulking Truth, send us your ideas or finished ramblings at info@faulkingtruth.com . I can't guarantee we'll print every one we receive, but if we don't, you can trash us in our guestbook.
Until next time, wear the bikini (you know the one I'm talking about), but look out for the jellyfish. Those faulkers hurt.
Voice your opinion on our message board (you don't have to sign up to post).
Editor's Corner Archives:
The Faulking Truth - Page One (Mark Faulk, Apr 2, 2004)
Over 1,600 Sold Worldwide (and Counting) (Mark Faulk, Apr 16, 2004)
The Winds of Change (Mark Faulk, May 18, 2004)
June, I'm home! (Mark Faulk, Jun 4, 2004)
The Unfunny, Uninteresting, and Unedited Update of "The Faulking Truth" (Mark Faulk, Jun 24, 2004)
How I Spent My Summer Vacation (Mark Faulk, Jul 19, 2004)
John John For President? (Mark Faulk, Jul 25, 2004)
The Dog Days of August (Mark Faulk, Aug 7, 2004)
Not-So-Swift Boat (Mark Faulk, Aug 23, 2004)
Repeat After Me: "Anyone But Bush" (Mark Faulk, Sep 6, 2004)
Kerry: The UnBush (Mark Faulk, Sep 18, 2004)
Counting Our Blessings (and our "Freedoms" and Liberties" too) (Mark Faulk, Sep 29, 2004)
Working Hard....Because.....It's Hard Work (Mark Faulk, Oct 6, 2004)
Heads I win, Tails you lose (Mark Faulk, Oct 17, 2004)
A Vote and a Prayer (Mark Faulk, Nov 1, 2004)
"I only have escaped alone to tell thee...." (Mark Faulk, Nov 9, 2004)
Finally! Another Faulking Update (Mark Faulk, Dec 2, 2004)
Say the Word I'm Thinking Of (Mark Faulk, Dec 19, 2004)
Happy Faulking New Year!!! (Mark Faulk, Jan 3, 2005)
We're Having a Party! (Mark Faulk, Jan 12, 2005)
Ducets From Heaven (Mark Faulk, Feb 13, 2005)
A Blockbuster Article....or Self-Indulgent Whining? (Mark Faulk, Feb 20, 2005)
Look at Me, I'm Flying! (Mark Faulk, Feb 28, 2005)
All We Are Saying...... (Mark Faulk, Mar 13, 2005)
The Neurotic, Psychotic, Compulsive, Paranoid, Faulking Truth Update (Mark Faulk, Mar 27, 2005)
The Short and Sweet Faulking Truth Update (Mark Faulk, Apr 9, 2005)
The Perfect Faulking Update (Mark Faulk, Apr 27, 2005)
A Mother's Day Song (Adam Sandler, May 8, 2005)
If Hits Were Ducats...... (Mark Faulk, May 16, 2005)
The Really, Really, Really Late Faulking Truth Update or...I Wish the Real World Would Just Stop Hassling Me (Mark Faulk, Jun 11, 2005)
And Now for Something Completely Different..... (Mark Faulk, Jul 2, 2005)
In Cyberspace, everyone can hear you scream.... (Mark Faulk, Jul 23, 2005)
North to Alaska..... (Mark Faulk, Jul 30, 2005)
National Preparedness Month (Mark Faulk, Sep 5, 2005)
You're the reason God made the Faulking Truth (Mark Faulk, Nov 4, 2005)
Skies of Green and Fields of Blue (Mark Faulk, Nov 26, 2005)
Sending out an SOS..... (Mark Faulk, Dec 15, 2005)
CRFN Radio Interview (Friday, Dec. 30, 2005) at 9:30 AM (Mark Faulk, Dec 29, 2005)
CRFN Radio Interview: Naked Bull or Cash Cow? (Mark Faulk, Jan 12, 2006)
CRFN Radio Interview: Daytrading America (Mark Faulk, Jan 19, 2006)
Overstock.com to Promote “The Naked Truth”.....Rod Young, Mark Faulk to Appear on CFRN (Mark Faulk, Feb 2, 2006)
Vote on this CNBC Poll Now!!! (Mark Faulk, Feb 27, 2006)
The Really, Really, Really Late (yet again) Faulking Truth Update (Mark Faulk, Mar 13, 2006)
Goodbye Cruel World!! (The Very Last Faulking Truth Update) (Mark Faulk, Jun 5, 2006)
CFRN Radio Show Update (Mark Faulk, Jun 15, 2006)
It's Time to Fix the Stock Market! (Mark Faulk, Jun 23, 2006)
Repeat after me: "I don't know" (Mark Faulk, Jul 28, 2006)
Update on "The Naked Truth" (Mark Faulk, Sep 13, 2006)
A Winning Ticket for 2008 (Redux) (Mark Faulk, Nov 9, 2006)
We're on A Mission From God (Mark Faulk, Dec 12, 2006)
Love is....(An Ode to Valentine's Day) (Mark Faulk, Feb 14, 2007)
TogiEntertainment, Inc., announces purchase of Christian Financial Radio Network (CFRN) (Mark Faulk, March 2, 2007)
USXP CEO Richard Altomare to appear on The Faulking Truth Show on CFRN (Mark Faulk, April 11, 2007)
Text of the OKLAHOMA Senate Bill No. 979 (Mark Faulk, April 26, 2007)
Letter To Oklahoma Senators (Mark Faulk, May 1, 2007)
TogiNet Sneak Preview (Mark Faulk, June 14, 2007)
The Faulking Truth Show on TogiNet (Mark Faulk, June 21, 2007 )
The Faulking Truth X2 (Mark Faulk, June 22, 2007)
Saturday on the Faulking Truth X2 - Countdown to Super Tuesday (Mark Faulk, Feb 1, 2008)
Today's Faulking Truth X2 Show - Shame on Sally!!! (Mark Faulk, Mar 15, 2008)
Oklahoma State Rep. Richard Morrisette on the Faulking Truth X2 (Mark Faulk, Mar 22, 2008)
Saturday on The Faulking Truth X2 Show!!! (Mark Faulk, Apr 25, 2008)
This week on The Faulking Truth and Faulking Truth X2 Shows (Mark Faulk, May 8, 2008)
Tired of getting screwed at the gas pump???? (Mark Faulk, Jun 20, 2008)
Vibrators, missiles, and getting screwed at the pump (Mark Faulk, Aug 2, 2008)
A personal invitation to....YOU! (Mark Faulk, Aug 9, 2008)
The Naked Truth About The Naked Truth (Mark Faulk, Aug 27, 2008)
Join Mark and DeWayne on October 20th 12-1pm CST! (Super Secretary, Oct 17, 2008)
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